Reminiscence

2008-07-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

So far away, that I cannot see you nor touch you, but still so close in my mind, in my heart, that I could not say if your departure was truly real; like a dream that we interrupt because dawn is here; a dream we look forward to recapture the following night, because it is too beautiful, because we feel it alive and warm inside us, and yet so fragile that it cannot settle for long, quivering and vanishing at the slightest noise, at the faintest intruding thought, in a desperate flight of the forms, against which we struggle for a more vivid recollection, that we try to hold back but which always slips away because of our awkwardness, fear or haste. A French writer, Anatole France, once said that images formed during the sleep do not refer to the things which occupy us the most, but rather to the ideas that we neglect during daytime. I think, he is right, thus dreams would be in a certain way the revenge of the things that we despise, or the reproach of the forsaken ones. From there comes probably its unexpected character and sometimes its sadness…. And yet, I do not neglect you during daytime. I recall the time when after a hard day of work I came to you without affectation…. In the cell of our friendship closed to the world, you would read my mind and never your curiosity or your indifference would thrill me…. I was sincere; while you were affectionate and solemn. You were more than a confident: a confessor... I found authority in you, you were my elder and to be honest, you were by my side, an older me…. This feeling you are suffering from, you used to say is rare even for you; while that one that you attribute to people, is a special vision of yours, analyze better…… We used to follow the curve of my agitation. Today, you are in the worst condition, you said; tomorrow’s dawn will calm you down. And, if my mind struck by the pain, refused to understand, and, this supposition is even sadder, if I despised the truth because of pride, you, without nasty words, would modify your treatment because you were less a moralist than an accomplice of my quest for the Absolute…. You admired me for reasons that you knew how to share with me. When pride had deserted me, you rescued me; you put strength and determination in my hands. When I was lucid and expansive you taught me irony so that I would not be naked in front of men. To me, who tried to transfigure my soul into the Absolute, you gave the passion I needed to reach my goal. Something to desire, to regret, to cry for, so my throat will not be dry, my head empty and my eyes floating among the vainglorious, the preachers, the young ladies and the powerful. For all these reasons I love you and I miss you. I hope that one day you will again cross my mind and give birth to such a wonderful dream.

2007-07-09T03:44:00.000-07:00

Bienvenue sur mon Blog!

So Frenchy

Reminiscence